Friday, March 11, 2011

Down the Rabbit Hole

Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a conversation that is making you feel like your grip on reality has finally dissolved? The kind of conversation where the other parties responses seem to have no relation to your words. The kind of conversation where you have to look around you to make sure that you have not been transported to another dimension.

Your attention is snagged, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course. What's up?" You expect a query about the weather, or a recipe, or weekend plans.

What follows is a question, so loosely grounded in reality that it is hard to think. Your brain furiously tries to follow paths of logic that lead from the everyday to this obscure topic. You run through your actions, your words, your intentions desperately reaching for any connection:

If I were a comic book villain, then this would make some sense... If I were a spy, documenting this persons life, playing on their fears and paranoia, then this would make sense... If I needed a kidney and was planning on drugging this person at said event, then this would make sense...

Eventually you are left with only two options:

If I were insane, then this would make sense... If the person asking me this question were insane, then this would make sense...

You then spend the rest of the conversation trying to tug yourself back to the sweet shores of sanity. If the conversation lasts long enough it begins to make sense. You begin to think maybe you are the one who is loosing touch. Maybe the other person is the one being rational.

At this point the only solution is a hasty, "I have to pee. My hamster has swallowed a golf ball. Good God, my leg is on fire. Got to go. Great talking to you. Have a great day. Bye!"

You can not win an argument against paranoid, narcissistic, insanity. It simply is not possible.

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