Friday, August 19, 2011


When I was a kid, I had my very own bathroom in the renovated attic of my parents house. Having your own bathroom is pretty sweet, but mine was extra cool. About half way up the wall the green tiles were replaced with an off white wallpaper. Fuzzy green spirals and artfully placed dots sprawled in a whimsical pattern sure to thrill children and anyone still stuck in the 70's.

I was delighted with my fuzzy wallpaper and would often drag my friends and kind relatives up the attic stairs and instruct them to "pet" my wallpaper. I never quite understood their baffled expressions and would urge them on if they hesitated. "It's ok. It's fuzzy. Pet it."

When my parents moved out of that house I was almost seventeen and secretly hoped our new house would also have fuzzy wallpaper. Best of all would have been if whole walls were covered in fuzz. I was sorely disappointed to realize that since our new house had been built less than five years earlier, there were zero fuzzy walls.

In the years since leaving my petable wallpaper behind, I have scarcely given flocked wallpaper a single thought. When I lived in Seoul my wallpaper was textured, and as I tried to scrub some decades old yellow stuff off of its stubbled surface I did take a moment to reflect that it could be worse. You can't scrub flocked wallpaper at all.

Other than that fuzzy wallpaper has not crossed my mind in years. Until today.
Today, as I sat updating hyperlinks I turned to my right and what did I find? A fuzzy lamp shade!

If, my brain reasoned, there is such a thing as fuzzy wallpaper and fuzzy lamp shades, what else could be made pleasant to pet? You could have whole fuzzy lamps, fuzzy night stands, end tables. You could have a whole room of perfectly soft, impossible to clean, fuzzy furniture and fixtures! The possibilities are mad and endless.

No comments:

Post a Comment